What’s unique about discovering your style of sensual is that it’s not just about sex. It’s about accentuating the best of you and amping up your own special style with a hint of femininity and a dash of raw sex appeal. It’s fun. It’s personal. It’s complicated and it’s very easily mixed-up if you allow someone else to define it for you before you define it for yourself.
Sensual and sexy are like lacing the fingers of both hands together to form a tight fist – they are two distinctly different notions, yet they are almost identical. Sensual goes deeper than sexy. It’s that raw, feel-it-in-your-gut sense of being sexy and confident and gorgeous and appealing and stunning and desirable all at the same time. Sure, it can be initiated by a great fitting outfit, from fitting into the next size down, a lingering look from a hot guy (or any guy), but it can’t go from that initial “hey, I’m sexy” to full on sensuality unless it’s engrained in you already.
Back to very near the beginning of time, a woman’s sensuality has been defined by men. Now, I’m not a man-blaming girl. I’m just saying that art and poetry and what has been recorded as sensual has come from men. Men who can’t help being visually stimulated. So we see naked. We see a lot of naked. Naked on piles of sheets. Naked stretched out on car hoods. Naked covered scantily by corsets and pouring out of Miracle bras and pushed out and up uncomfortably by vampish high heels that force the backside and the top side to pop just to keep from toppling over – so not fair!
Now, say what you will about being objectified by these images, but I’ll bet you’d be hard-pressed to find a woman (cellulite and all) who wouldn’t enjoy being naked on a pile of satin or who doesn’t proudly flaunt the girls in a new Miracle bra. Heck even a car hood could be fun. Maybe you’d have to lay there with no one else in the room, but you sure as heck would have a great time feeling your sensuality. But there’s more to it than that.
There’s the fact that it’s more sensual and stimulating to get dressed up and go dancing with the girls than to look hot on a mediocre date. It’s the ever-so-complicated truth that whatever makes you feel sexier will make you act sexier, whether it’s your ripped college sweatshirt that’s laden with the best memories or a gauzy piece of new lingerie.
Sensuality is ours to embrace or reject, but when it comes from you it’s a powerful force. Every woman is sensual. We’re made of it – forget the sugar and spice. We may get it confused with the sexy portrayed on beer commercials and car calendars, but we can all come back to it. Sensuality isn’t about what size we don’t wear or dimples in places we wish were smooth.
It’s about knowing that there will always be a skinnier girl on the poster but there will never be another you to please your guy, to care for your kids, to love your family, to gift the world with your talents, to look in the mirror and see the best of yourself. When we allow ourselves to be that woman, then we understand sensuality. Then we become more than just sexy.